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Baker Mayfield, Ben Roethlisberger, Blake Bortles, Deontay Wilder, Devin Booker, Donald Trump, Hue Jackson, Jeff Brohm, Jon Jones, Kawhi Leonard, Reuben Foster, Sister Jean, Stephen Curry, The Week That Was, Willie Taggart -

Monday 11.26.18 In “we all look alike” news, WBC heavyweight champion Deontay Wilder was mistaken for LeBron James, Le’Veon Bell and a nonspecific band member while traveling throughout New York City. Cleveland Browns quarterback Baker Mayfield, not letting his 37.5 percent career winning percentage go to his head, called former Browns coach Hue Jackson “fake” […]

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Adrian Peterson, Brian Bowen, Ezekiel Elliott, John Wall, JR Smith, Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving, LeBron James, Manny Machado, Markelle Fultz, Patrice Evra, Thanksgiving, The Week That Was -

Monday 11.19.18 Former Louisville basketball prospect Brian Bowen II, snitching like an aggrieved 6ix9ine associate, filed a federal racketeering lawsuit against Adidas, accusing the shoe apparel company of engaging in fraud, bribery and money laundering. The Kansas football program, which apparently hates live animals as much as it hates winning seasons in the past decade, […]

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Aaron Donald, Alvin Kamara, Cam Newton, Ciara, DeMar DeRozan, Draymond Green, Golden State Warriors, Jimmy Butler, Kevin Durant, Klay Thompson, Le'Veon Bell, LeBron James, Patrick Ewing, Patrick Mahomes, Russell Wilson, The Week That Was -

Monday 11.12.18 San Antonio Spurs guard DeMar DeRozan, proving that nothing goes right when thou forsakes Shake Shack, learned he was traded from the Toronto Raptors in July while sitting in the parking lot of a Jack in the Box restaurant. Like finally finding out how Jack Pearson died after all the teasing, the Buffalo […]

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Boston Celtics, Bryce Harper, Donald Trump, Jerry Jones, Kyrie Irving, LaMelo Ball, LaVar Ball, Le'Veon Bell, LeBron James, The Week That Was -

Monday 11.05.18 Dallas Cowboys owner and general manager Jerry Jones, in no way creating a coaching controversy by being the only owner in the league to take questions after a game, responded, “No” when asked if the team would make an in-season coaching change following a 3-5 start to the season. The U.S. Olympic Committee, […]

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DJ Durkin, Hue Jackson, JR Smith, Kevin Love, Le'Veon Bell, Magic Johnson, Mychal Kendricks, Nathan Peterman, Rick Pitino, Terrell Owens, The Week That Was, Tyronn Lue -

Monday 10.29.18 Former Louisville men’s basketball coach Rick Pitino, who could easily best Mike D’Antoni’s famed “seven seconds or less” offensive scheme, said he has “deep interest” in returning to the NBA. The Cleveland Cavaliers, somehow still having a worse week than the Cleveland Browns, could be without forward Kevin Love for a month because […]

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Andre Drummond, Chad Kelly, Colin Kaepernick, Darius Bazley, Eli Manning, Jerry Jones, Joel Embiid, JuJu Smith-Schuster, Killer Mike, Malcolm Jenkins, Michael Jordan, Rae Carruth, Rajon Rondo, The Week That Was, WWE -

Monday 10.22.18 The NFL had to save fans from themselves by pre-emptively blocking customers from purchasing customized No. 89 Carolina Panthers jerseys with “Carruth” on the back. Dallas Cowboys owner and general manager Jerry Jones, who once willingly signed Greg Hardy but wouldn’t give up a fifth-round draft pick for Josh Gordon, traded away a […]

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Aaron Hernandez, Alvin Gentry, Beyonce, Colin Kaepernick, Floyd Mayweather, Jimmy Butler, John Calipari, Karl-Anthony Towns, Khabib Nurmagomedov, Kobe Bryant, Kyle Kuzma, Lonzo Ball, Manny Pacquiao, Mary Bono, Nathan Peterman, NBA G League, Nick Bosa, Odell Beckham Jr., Paul George, Simone Biles, The Week That Was -

Monday 10.15.18 Famed sports sociologist and future Hallmark greeting card writer Harry Edwards told his wife, “Well, lady, first of all, I’m a leg and a– man myself” after her mastectomy. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers, placing blame on someone other than the person responsible for calling an intentional lateral play from the 21-yard line with […]

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Colin Kaepernick, Conor McGregor, Dwight Howard, Eli Manning, Jimmy Butler, Jon Gruden, Josh Norman, Khabib Nurmagomedov, Lil Wayne, Mark Wahlberg, Michael Thomas, Steve Kerr, The Week That Was -

Monday 10.08.18 Proving definitively that the Lord works in mysterious ways, the Cleveland Indians, Atlanta Braves and Washington Redskins all lost on Indigenous Peoples Day. Golden State Warriors coach Steve Kerr, reiterating the team’s stance on playing in Oakland, California, yelled, “I don’t want to be here anyway” at the referees after being ejected from […]

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Alex Ovechkin, Brett Kavanaugh, Chris Dudley, Frank Reich, Greg Hardy, Jimbo Fisher, JR Smith, Justin Fields, Kyrie Irving, Le'Veon Bell, Mychal Kendricks, Patrick Mahomes, Pittsburgh Steelers, The Week That Was -

Monday 10.01.18 Former NBA center and man-famous-for-being-pushed-over Chris Dudley, because 2018 will never end, inserted himself into the ongoing Brett Kavanaugh saga after Dudley, in 1985, allegedly “took his beer and smashed it into the head of” a man who got into a bar fight with the future Supreme Court nominee. Pittsburgh Steelers running back […]

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Carmelo Anthony, Colin Kaepernick, Enes Kanter, Isaiah Thomas, Jameis Winston, James Harrison, Jimmy Butler, Kawhi Leonard, Le'Veon Bell, LeBron James, Patrick Mahomes, The Week That Was, Tyronn Lue -

Monday 09.24.18 Los Angeles Lakers forward LeBron James, foreshadowing what he plans to run their collective names through by December, nicknamed new teammates Lance Stephenson, JaVale McGee, Michael Beasley and Rajon Rondo “MUD” (misunderstood, underappreciated, determined). Former Cleveland Cavaliers guard Isaiah Thomas, more subtle than Stan Kroenke buying a plot of land in Los Angeles, […]

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Antonio Brown, Colin Kaepernick, Jimmy Butler, Josh Gordon, JuJu Smith-Schuster, LeBron James, Maroon 5, Michael Jordan, Nate Boyer, Ryan Fitzpatrick, The Week That Was, Tom Brady, Urban Meyer -

Monday 09.17.18 The San Antonio Spurs, waiting until Tony Parker vacated the premises, hired former NBA forward Brent Barry as vice president of basketball operations. Ohio State football coach Urban Meyer, who knew his former assistant coach Zach Smith had committed an act of domestic violence in 2009 and 2015 and patronized a strip club […]

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Corey Coleman, Doug Marrone, Gordon Hayward, Jon Gruden, Josh Allen, Khalil Mack, LeBron James, Nathan Peterman, New England Patriots, Oscar De La Hoya, Serena Williams, Sterling Brown, The Week That Was -

Monday 09.10.18 Oakland Raiders coach Jon Gruden, while Jim Halpert stares blankly into the camera, said his team struggled against the Los Angeles Rams because “we didn’t get to [Jared] Goff enough. We didn’t get to [Todd] Gurley. We have to look at ways we can do better,” just one week after trading away former […]

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Colin Kaepernick, Donald Trump, Jerry Jones, John Elway, Le'Veon Bell, Nathan Peterman, Richard Sherman, Rick Pitino, The Week That Was, Tom Brady, Tucker Carlson -

Monday 09.03.18 Actress Carmen Electra and a Miami Dolphins cheerleader are suing two Denver-area strip clubs, one egregiously named The Players Club, for falsely using their images to promote the clubs. Colin Kaepernick, forcing conservatives to “own the libs” by agreeing with them on the questionable business practices of Nike, was announced as one of […]

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Aaron Rodgers, Adrian Peterson, Colin Kaepernick, Draymond Green, Floyd Mayweather, Green Bay Packers, Jerry Jones, Jim Brown, LeBron James, Manu Ginobili, Mychal Kendricks, Teddy Bridgewater, The Week That Was -

Monday 08.27.18 San Antonio Spurs guard Manu Ginobili, looking around and realizing what Kyle Lowry never did, announced his retirement after 16 seasons. New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, refusing to answer questions as if he were accused of orchestrating a covert operation to underinflate footballs, hung up on a radio interview after the hosts […]

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Adrian Peterson, Bryce Mitchell, Colin Kaepernick, Duncan Hunter, Dwyane Wade, Jarvis Landry, Jon Gruden, Kawhi Leonard, Papa John's, President Donald Trump, Richard Sherman, The Week That Was, Urban Meyer -

Monday 08.20.18 Former Golden State Warriors guard Nick Young, who puts the “hype” in “hype beast,” is incensed that Nike continues to re-release the same pairs of Air Jordans because “it not that hard to come up with new shoes.” Free-agent running back Adrian Peterson, not concerned about the condition of the grass at FedEx […]

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DeAndre Hopkins, Gilbert Arenas, Hulk Hogan, Iggy Azalea, Jameis Winston, Laura Ingraham, LeBron James, President Donald Trump, The Week That Was, Urban Meyer -

Monday 08.06.18 The North Carolina football program, which signed a multimillion-dollar contract with Nike in 2009 and gave its players Nike Jordan shoes to distract them from said money, suspended 13 players for at least one game for selling the school-issued shoes. NBA commissioner Adam Silver, whose statement over the weekend defending LeBron James from […]

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Art Briles, Carmelo Anthony, Charles Barkley, Colin Kaepernick, Donald Trump, Draymond Green, Earl Thomas, Eric Decker, Jim Harbaugh, Johnny Manziel, LeBron James, Randy Moss, Rick Pitino, Robert Griffin III, The Week That Was, Tristan Thompson, Urban Meyer -

Monday 07.30.18 Los Angeles Lakers forward LeBron James, closing the gap of the “Kobe Bryant” and “Betsy Devos” fandom Venn diagram circles, opened an elementary school in Akron, Ohio, for at-risk children. Michigan football coach and proud spokesperson of the University of Michigan’s School of Public Health Jim Harbaugh once told one of his players […]

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CJ McCollum, Danny Green, Dirk Nowitzki, Donald Trump, Dwight Howard, Dwyane Wade, Jerry Jones, Kevin Durant, Kevin Love, LeBron James, The Week That Was, Urban Meyer, Vince Carter -

Monday 07.23.18 New Washington Wizards center Dwight Howard, starting the countdown for when he is inevitably bought out of his contract in December, kicked off his introductory news conference with a Def Poetry Jam-style sonnet: “I learned Magic for 8 years … traveled to La La Land, learned how to work with Rockets … how […]

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Bill Belichick, Darrelle Revis, DeMar DeRozan, DeMarcus Cousins, John Schnatter, Josh Hader, Kawhi Leonard, Le'Veon Bell, Michael Porter Jr., Mike Trout, Papa John's, Randy Moss, San Antonio Spurs, Terrell Owens, The Week That Was, Toronto Raptors, Usain Bolt -

Monday 07.16.18 Hall of Fame wide receiver Randy Moss, who apparently not only plays when he wants but also answers calls when he wants, said he hung up the phone on New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick when the latter called to tell Moss he was being traded to the team in 2007 because […]

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Adam Jones, Alex Ovechkin, Brock Lesnar, Charles Oakley, Daniel Cormier, Donte DiVencenzow, Jerry Richardson, Kevin Durant, LeBron James, Michael Bidwill, Papa John's, The Week That Was -

Monday 07.09.18 Former New York Knicks forward Kyle O’Quinn, joining in the yearly tradition of former Knicks players trashing the beleaguered franchise after leaving, said he didn’t return to the team because “I wanted to play for something more than next year’s draft.” UFC champion Daniel Cormier, reneging like a game of spades, said WWE’s […]

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Charles Barkley, DeMar DeRozan, DeMarcus Cousins, Dwight Howard, LeBron James, The Week That Was -

Monday 07.02.18 Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert, refraining from selecting the Comic Sans font again, released a letter thanking LeBron James for “every moment you spent in a Cavaliers uniform” while never using the “I” pronoun. In what will likely be dubbed the “Malice at the Malacañang Palace,” players for Gilas Pilipinas and Australia scrapped […]

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Diego Maradona, Floyd Mayweather, Kyrie Irving, LaVar Ball, LeBron James, Lonzo Ball, Magic Johnson, New England Patriots, Sammy Sosa, The Week That Was, Tom Brady -

Monday 06.25.18 Boston Celtics guard Kyrie Irving, smiling through the pain, said “it doesn’t matter” that the Cleveland Cavaliers gave away his old No. 2 jersey to rookie Collin Sexton just one year after Irving left the team. Cavs forward LeBron James, orchestrator of “The Decision” and “I’m Coming Home,” “has no intention of hearing […]

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Ayesha Curry, Barry Trotz, Carmelo Anthony, Dwight Howard, Jay-Z, John Cena, Johnny Manziel, LeBron James, Magic Johnson, The Week That Was -

Monday 06.18.18 The South Korean national team, playing the race card, swapped jerseys during practices ahead of its World Cup match against Sweden because “it’s very difficult for Westerners to distinguish between Asians.” Washington Capitals head coach Barry Trotz, striking while the iron is engulfed in flames, resigned just weeks after leading the team to […]

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Bryce Harper, Conor McGregor, Dennis Rodman, Draymond Green, FIFA World Cup, Johnny Manziel, Kevin Durant, Kyle Kuzma, Lamar Jackson, Lonzo Ball, Myles Garrett, President Donald Trump, The Week That Was -

Monday 06.11.18 Golden State Warriors general manager Bob Myers, exemplifying the Art of the Deal, told reporters he plans to give back-to-back Finals MVP Kevin Durant “whatever he wants” during the upcoming contract negotiations. Warriors coach Steve Kerr, not be confused for anything other than a 52-year-old white man, said while he didn’t “get lit” […]

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Bryan Colangelo, Damarious Randall, Hulk Hogan, Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving, LaVar Ball, Nick Saban, Rudy Giuliani, The Week That Was -

Monday 05.28.18 Former New York City mayor and part-time Boston Red Sox panderer, er … fan, Rudy Giuliani was booed heavily by the crowd at Yankee Stadium when it was announced that it was Giuliani’s 74th birthday. Former professional wrestler Booker T, who famously told wrestling legend Hulk Hogan he was “coming for you, n—-,” […]

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Ben Roethlisberger, Colin Kaepernick, Donald Trump, Joel Embiid, LeBron James, Shaquille O'Neal, Stephen Curry, The Week That Was -

Monday 05.21.18 Golden State Warriors guard Stephen Curry, who once said he hoped the Cleveland Cavaliers’ locker room “still smells a little bit like champagne” and was fined $50,000 for throwing his mouthpiece toward a referee, was scolded by his mother and said he tries “to do the right things all the time” after yelling, […]

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Dez Bryant, Dwane Casey, Kobe Bryant, Luka Doncic, Master P, Nick Bosa, Rick Pitino, Supreme Court of the United States, The Week That Was -

Monday 05.14.18 Ohio State defensive end and presumptive No. 1 overall pick in the 2018 NFL draft Nick Bosa, getting those tweets off, posted on Twitter that “Black panther worst marvel movie of all time…” despite Iron Man 2 and Thor: The Dark World existing, and that “Beyoncés music is complete trash” a few days […]

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Brad Stevens, Donald Trump, Enes Kanter, Ichiro Suzuki, LaVar Ball, LeBron James, Mark Ingram, Meek Mill, Rafael Palmeiro, Serena Williams, The Week That Was, Tom Brady -

Monday 05.07.18 New York Knicks center Enes Kanter, who referred to Cleveland Cavaliers forward LeBron James as “Queen” and “Princess” earlier in the season, is now on the internet begging like Babyface for James to join the Knicks in the offseason. James, who just one month ago said the team’s current roster never had time […]

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Drake, Hulk Hogan, Josh Rosen, Kawhi Leonard, Meek Mill, New England Patriots, Ryan Shazier, The Week That Was, Tom Brady -

Monday 04.30.18 A Cleveland Browns executive, graduating from soliciting advice from homeless people to teenage girls, insinuated that his team didn’t draft former UCLA quarterback Josh Rosen with the first pick in last week’s NFL draft because of an encounter with the Bruins women’s volleyball team. New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, like most of […]

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Donald Trump, Julio Jones, Kanye West, Kevin Durant, LaMelo Ball, LaVar Ball, Michael Jordan, Russell Westbrook, The Week That Was -

Monday 04.23.18 Golden State Warriors forward Kevin Durant, about as proficient at social media as Shad Moss, said it was a “total accident” when he liked an Instagram comment that said former teammate Russell Westbrook was the “problem” when Durant was still with the Oklahoma City Thunder. A Pennsylvania golf club, telling Waffle House and […]

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Dez Bryant, Donald Trump, Eric Bledsoe, Gregg Popovich, Joel Embiid, LeBron James, Rob Gronkowski, The Week That Was -

Monday 04.16.18 Philadelphia 76ers center Joel Embiid, still enjoying “The Process,” posted on social media that he is “f—ing sick and tired of being babied” after being held out of Game 2 of the team’s series against the Miami Heat. Some San Antonio Spurs fans who were perfectly fine when the team fleeced the city […]

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Ben Simmons, Donovan Mitchell, Floyd Mayweather, James Harden, Kevin Durant, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Lil B, Master P, The Week That Was -

Monday 04.09.18 NBA players, who are apparently just like us, don’t play hard for all 48 minutes of any given game and have “gentleman’s pacts” for taking plays off. Former Miami Heat forward LeBron James, being his normal passive-aggressive self, once indirectly asked for the firing of Heat coach Erik Spoelstra by asking team president […]

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Chris Webber, Conor McGregor, Dwayne Johnson, Giancarlo Stanton, Jalen Rose, Justin Timberlake, Klay Thompson, Lamar Jackson, LeBron James, Michael Jackson, The Week That Was, Von Miller -

Monday 04.02.18 Rep. Diane Black (R-Tennessee), bringing politics into football, said she canceled her season tickets with the Tennessee Titans, a team that made the playoffs for the first time in nine years last season because of players bringing politics into football by kneeling for the national anthem. NFL linebacker prospect Jerome Baker, not for […]

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