Daily Dose, The Bachelorette -

The brothas have arrived on ‘The Bachelorette’ Rachel Lindsay’s season is about to be lit; here’s a breakdown of the contestants

Daily Dose, The Bachelorette -

The brothas have arrived on ‘The Bachelorette’ Rachel Lindsay’s season is about to be lit; here’s a breakdown of the contestants

Shoutout to Amy Kaufman for thread-tweeting the contestants of the newest season of The Bachelorette, starring office fave Rachel Lindsay. Honestly, I’m shocked they found this many black people to sign up for this show. I always assumed they just couldn’t find any, since The Bachelor/Bachelorette is really white people-ish. But no more! As an avid consumer of trash TV, I have some thoughts. Here are my genuine reactions as I scrolled down the incredibly diverse but to-be-honest-not-as-sexy-as-I-was-hoping list.

Adam, 27, is a freak, and I’m a lil freaked out by it.

Alex, 28, says his favorite artist is The Rock. OK, I guess. Great hair, though.

Anthony, 26. Not a fan of bald guys. The scalp doesn’t do it for me. This take gets mixed reactions from the people in the office, but I don’t care.

Blake E, 31, isn’t making it past the first rose ceremony. Speaking of rose ceremonies, I honestly thought they got like, cuff links or something. But Clinton tells me that they definitely get roses. Yay for gender neutrality!

Blake K., 29, looks like office cutie Justin McCraw. Not even kidding. Which means Blake will also be the office fav and we’re all rooting for him.

Brady, 29. Meh. Second white guy I’ve seen with this haircut so far. Something tells me I’ll be seeing more.

Bryan, 37, is also a freak! Gotta love a man who knows what he wants.

Bryce, 30. A firefighter. Crimson Chin. I used to date a firefighter. He was crazy, though. I’m hoping Bryce isn’t also crazy, but Clinton says being crazy is a prerequisite for the job.

Dean, 26, is woke bae, but he’s not cute enough to make it past the first rose ceremony.

DeMario, 30. Another black guy! With a black name! And he wants a lion named Denzel, which is super black! And he made a Britney Spears joke! (fun fact: I’m a B. Spears stan.) Love this guy already.

Diggy, 31. He looks like he’s a senior inventory analyst, which isn’t a bad thing.

Eric, 29. Already I think this is the most black guys I’ve ever seen on this show, and I’m not even done yet.

Fred, 27. Hello there, Carlton Banks. Goodbye, Carlton Banks. Next.

Grant, 29. Dorky cute, and he’s a doctor! Something tells me Rachel is gonna like him.

Iggy, 30. Little bit of a weirdo judging from his bio, but maybe he can get a cool thing going with Diggy. Wonder if they did that on purpose.

Jack, 32. Can’t put my finger on it, but something’s off about this guy. It’s in the eyes.

Jamey, 32. Looks just like last year’s runner-up Robby Hayes. Probably won’t go very far.

Jedidiah, 35. Most likely a preacher’s kid. Also probably my soulmate because I, too, am a bit of a pen snob. Wish you were cuter, Jed!

Jonathan, 31. “Tickle Monster”?! Why would you tell people that! Definitely serial killer. But I’m torn, because he’s also a Britney fan. I’d be one of his victims. Go over to his house to have a Britney Spears listening party, and then he tickles me to death.

Josiah, 28. Wonder who he had sex with…

Kenny, 35, is a pro wrestler who says he and Dwayne Johnson are “very much alike.” Gotta disagree there, buddy, but I smell a bromance with Alex happening.

Kyle, 26, is a very specific kind of person I intensely dislike. But he’s cute, so Rachel might keep him around even though he won’t stop talking about gluten.

Lee, 30. If this were speed dating, it’d be a hard pass for me.

Lucas, 30, is a man who doesn’t know what he wants because those cartoon characters bear ZERO similarities to one another. Also stop fantasizing about cartoons, Lucas. (I’m a hypocrite, though, because Aladdin is bae.)

Matt, 32. Finally found the answer to my question regarding how and why Train is so popular.

Michael, 26, wasn’t good enough for the NBA, so he’s automatically on the wacker side of the black guys this season.

Milton, 31. Wack. Just wack.

Mohit, 26. My first reaction: There’s an Indian guy?! But I’d like to amend that to “South Asian,” because I really don’t know. But I’m excited! He looks way older than 26, though. Not that that’s a bad thing. …

Peter, 31, knows nothing about football and so is automatically a loser in my eyes. On this show and in life.

Rob, 30. Justin Timberlake also had blond highlights and diamond studs, so I can’t judge. Everybody glows up.

Will, 28. I don’t think he knows what show he signed up for.

I’ll be live- tweeting @yerraaa every Monday. Can’t wait for this reality show so I can ignore real real life! The season premiere of The Bachelorette airs Monday May 22 on ABC.


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